I somehow managed to make it to 64 without ever having a deer vs. car incident. Years of driving from Old Mission to Traverse City, first in my 1974 VW Bug for school events, orchestra concerts, trips to Bardon’s, assorted off-the-farm jobs, etc. And then even more years in assorted vehicles, driving my kids to school events, orchestra concerts, trips to Bardon’s, off-the-farm jobs, etc.

Not to mention the hundreds of trips during the past 20 years to U of M Hospital in Ann Arbor for all of Tim’s medical appointments and surgeries. Most of those trips involved the Fletcher Road shortcut to and from I-75, a stretch of road notorious for hoards of deer ready to mess up your car and your day.

Let’s be honest, though. Just take a drive through “Dead Deer Alley” — Center Road from the East Bay Boat Launch to The Forks in by town — and it’s clear that the Old Mission Peninsula is giving Fletcher Road a run for its money when it comes to deer. A friend down Bluff Road counted 18 in his yard the other day — 18! And if you drive through the village of Old Mission any time of day or night, you’ll be running the gauntlet through big herds of deer out there.

Not one deer strike in all those 64 years — until one fateful night last fall. I was coming home from a township meeting, heading down Blue Water Road just east of Nancy Heller’s house, when a large buck ran smack into the side of my trusty Subaru Outback (aka “Subie”), leaving a dent in the driver’s side door, taking out the side mirror and bouncing off the front of the car before running off into Dave Edmondson’s orchard.

About a week later, my son Will had a deer gallop into his car at that exact same spot. Different deer, though. His did not have antlers, and I heard through the grapevine that Tim Holman took care of the big buck that smashed into my car. Thanks, Neighbor!

I was talking with a farmer friend at Wednesday’s Town Board meeting, and they said deer have a specific route they take to get around the OMP, and they will not vary from that route, even if it means running directly into a car or, in their case, into a deer fence installed to protect their orchard. I guess that spot just east of Nancy Heller’s house on Blue Water Road is one of their designated routes.

While Will’s car was totaled, I filed a claim with my insurance company and was able to continue driving my car until the collision place in town could fit it into their schedule at the beginning of January. The driver’s side mirror was hanging precariously off the side, and I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to cut any wires, so I wrapped it in duct tape.

After a month at the collision shop, I just picked the car up yesterday. They replaced the driver’s side door, front side panel and front-of-the-car panel, and that all looks great. Unfortunately, they were unable to find a driver’s side mirror, which is backordered through the dealer. They found a used one, but upon arrival they realized it had the wrong plug for my Outback. They are continuing the search.

Until they find a mirror, they let me take the car with the old mirror re-attached. It’s a little bit shattered, though, so I got my duct tape out again and made my own driver’s side mirror. Being a Michigan girl, I’ve very resourceful.

And no worries about the thing flying off. That baby is wrapped up tighter than Dr. Henke wrapped Tim’s aneurysm on his third visit to the surgical suite. That mirror is not going anywhere.

I’m pretty proud of my little mirror hack, and I have a feeling Tim is, too. This fix is right up his alley.

And thank goodness I bought a 2012 Ford F-150 last summer to haul firewood. It’s got 264,000 miles on it, but runs great and it’s been our only vehicle for the past month, since both Will’s and my cars were victims of a deer assault.

I’ll add in here that I unchecked the box on my car insurance that includes coverage for a car rental, because … I had a truck now! But wait…

Even though it’s 4WD and has new-ish tires and a bunch of weight in the back, the truck just refuses to get up my steep, curvy, snow-covered-and-slippery driveway. So we’ve been leaving it at the bottom of the driveway and hiking up and down anytime we have to go anywhere.

One of my goals this year is to get back to walking more, so … hear ya go, Jane, with some hills for extra cardio.

There are lots of silver linings when you’re forced to walk a quarter mile out and back every time you go somewhere. The hike up the driveway after Wednesday’s Town Board meeting was amazing — the stars were SO MAGNIFICENT! The sky was amazingly clear and you could see every star up there.

Then again, it’s not as much fun when I have to walk up in a blizzard or haul groceries up on the little orange sled I bought from Target for that purpose.

Also, before I realized that the truck simply wasn’t getting up the driveway no matter if it’s in High 4WD or Low FWD, I attempted the journey with miserable results. Some logistical info: My driveway goes up a hill and around a corner, then plateaus a little before going around another corner and up another hill to the top.

The bottom part, which you can see from Bluff Road, is the steepest part, but here’s the thing. When you’re driving up that first hill, you have to make a snap decision about whether you think you can get around the corner, because it doesn’t immediately level off. It continues to go UP around the corner.

And if you *can’t get around the corner, that means you have to back your vehicle down around the corner and down the steep part to the bottom, all without careening off the bank and into the pond below.

Here’s a photo from the first corner. You can see my truck parked at the bottom.

The last time I tried to get up the hill — a couple weeks ago (“Oh, I can make it”) — I narrowly avoided smashing into the power pole at the bottom, but was successful in taking out the plastic bin we keep down there for packages from FedEx, UPS, etc.

That’s when I decided to just hoof it up and down the driveway until I got Subie back (who, by the way, has NO trouble getting up and down the driveway in all kinds of weather; sorry, F-150; this is why we drive Subarus in the North Woods).

Also, hiking up and down a slippery driveway meant I had to upgrade my footwear to avoid ending up in the hospital with broken body parts. So I bought some winter Ice Bug boots with spikes built into the bottom of them. I’ve gotta tell you, they do not slip on the ice. Hopefully, I didn’t just jinx myself. They’re ridiculously pricey, but I figure it’s worth the upfront cost to keep myself out of the ER and then spend months of wearing a cast, going to PT, yada yada.

So far, so good. I have some IceTrax, too, but the Ice Bugs are spikier, and I didn’t want to take any chances with this semi-off-grid life I’ve got going. Here’s my little log cabin through the woods. I took this about half-way up the driveway.

My brother Ward also suggesting getting some “deer whistles” that are supposed to scare the deer away as you’re driving down the road. Yep, ordered some and already stuck them onto Subie.

Another silver lining is that not having a vehicle right outside my front door means I can’t easily access my usual procrastination tool, which is to get in the car and drive around the OMP. So I’ve been checking off tasks on my daily to-do lists, including clearing out my email inbox.

I’ve gotten it down from 24,000 to 3,000 emails so far, so if you get a response to an email you sent me in 2019, no, you’re not time-traveling to an alternate universe. It’s just me trying to clean out my inbox.

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SUPPORT YOUR INDEPENDENT LOCAL NEWSPAPER: I started Old Mission Gazette in 2015 because I felt a calling to provide the Old Mission Peninsula community with local news. After decades of writing for newspapers and magazines like the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Family Circle and Ladies’ Home Journal, I really just wanted to write about my own community where I grew up on a cherry farm and raised my own family. So I started my own newspaper.

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